Thoughts, stories, and ideas about living in positive imbalance.

What Does Your Heart Say?

How can we breathe, and appreciate each day, and do at least one thing that brings us or someone else some joy? How can we overcome the haters, the internal critic, the impostor syndrome?

"Follow the Sun" came up on the Mountain Air playlist in my Spotify today as I was working on some website technical support and planning for a few clients at the Kingwood Library.

This was originally going to just be a post for New Music Friday, ha.

I put it on repeat for about forty minutes. And started writing...

When you feel love coming down on you
Like a heavy wave
When you feel this crazy society
Headin' to the strand
Take a straw to the nearest waters
And remember your place
Many moons have risen and fallen long, long before you've came
So which way is the wind blowin'
And what does your heart say?

As I have been struggling this summer to find my next thing, while also managing multiple transitions and supporting others through their transitions, this song hit me right in the feels.

I've applied to hundreds of jobs as we plan our move to Washington and I move to online and part-time for my Masters in Social Work program. I have had one phone screen out of all of them. My drifter career may not look great on a two-page resume, which is what all the "experts" recommend to "beat" the recruiting algorithms of mostly horrible tech implementations of HRIS systems and hiring platforms. I have waffled between my long form resume, which I feel tells the true story, a two-pager for social work and policy-related jobs, and a two-pager for learning tech related jobs. It's a tough market, so I had low expectations, but I also wonder how anyone gets an interview these days unless you know someone on the hiring team. Or I need a better resume, but do I really want to keep playing this game of trying to beat the algorithms? I don't know.

I've also pondered the entrepreneurial tack I've taken since 2012, and what parts of that felt natural and brought me joy. Ultimately, it is about helping people. Duce Enterprises was built to help people with their websites, podcasts, and business processes and technology implementations. Learning Ninjas was built to help people build more accessible, inclusive, and effective learning solutions. The organizations and people I've been able to work with over the last decade are incredible, and doing amazing work.

I think that's where I'm headed, in this Drifter Life. I can finish my masters degree, something I set a goal of doing so I could build my capacity to help people in a more critical way; to learn more about systems of oppression and how I can best gather, organize, or join smart, kind people to solve big hairy problems. I can help former clients who are still trying to achieve their goals. I can find new clients and help them. And, I can finally get out of my head enough to fully launch this project.

What does your heart say?

It says I should do this damn thing that's been nagging at me for years. Stories of real life. Stories of success and removing barriers, and overcoming societal pressures to choose a meaningful path and flow. Stories of learning, growth, and grace. Stories of exploration, imagination, and improvisation. Creating new things that help others.

Breath, breath in the air
Set your intentions
Dream with care

How can we breathe, and appreciate each day, and do at least one thing that brings us or someone else some joy? How can we overcome the haters, the internal critic, the impostor syndrome? That voice saying, "What the fuck do I have to offer anyone?". I know this: assholes are exploiting, stealing, cheating, overdeveloping, and scheming. We can counter them by learning, listening, creating, dreaming, and acting. That last one is the hardest. That first step. That next step. That leap of faith. That risk.

I am excited. I am scared. I am learning. I am growing. I shared a quote with a friend once, from a book I was reading, that I can't quite place right now (I just spent 30 minutes trying to find it, ha!). But, to paraphrase, "the greatest risks are the opportunities missed by staying still." A few more of my favorite quotes, sayings, stickers, and signs stand out in this moment.

"What good shall I do this day?" – Best Made Co. Sign
"Do Rad Work" – Giant Conference sticker
"People think having courage means you have no fear. Courage is taking action despite the fear." – Linda Sapadin

And so... Here. We. Go!

So follow, follow the sun
The direction of the birds
The direction of love

If you're thinking about something like this, how can I help?


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Jamie Larson